From Whispers to Screaming: Learning to Trust Your Inner Alignment

There's a knowing that lives in your body—quiet at first, like a whisper. It tells you when something isn't quite right, when a choice doesn't match who you are, when a relationship asks you to abandon yourself.

Most of us learn to ignore it. We override that whisper with logic, with what others think we should do, with fear of being alone. We silence our inner knowing until it has no choice but to scream.

This is the journey of alignment—learning to listen to that voice when it's still soft, so it never has to shout.

When I First Felt It (And Didn't Listen)

Kim: When I was about 18 or 19, I dated someone who was unfaithful to me. I was devastated. At that age, I didn't yet understand that his actions had nothing to do with my value. For a while, I thought maybe I wasn't enough—that I'd done something wrong.

But here's what I remember most: even before the betrayal, something deep inside me already knew he wasn't right for me. Not because anything was wrong with him, but because something essential was missing. That whisper was there—I just didn't know how to listen yet.

That essential piece is what I now understand as alignment—that grounded, peaceful knowing that says, "This feels right for who I am."

The First Time I Felt True Alignment

Kim: Years later, when I met Jim, that knowing was unmistakably present. It wasn't about perfection or fireworks—it was a deep sense of safety and truth. My relationship with Jim was the first time I truly understood that love could feel aligned, that it was actually possible for me to experience that kind of peace in partnership.

When he passed away in a car accident four years later, it shattered the part of me that knew how to trust love so completely. In my grief, I came to believe that was my only chance at that feeling—that I'd had my one shot at aligned love and it was gone forever.

When the Whispers Became Screaming

Kim: Loss has a way of taking us out of alignment with ourselves. The grief, the fear, the belief that we won't find that again—it all clouds our inner knowing.

In another relationship after Jim, there were whispers: "This isn't right for you." But I listened to what others thought instead. Friends said he was good for me. Logic said I should give it more time. I didn't trust my inner knowing.

Until one day, the whispers weren't whispers anymore. They were SCREAMING. So loud I felt it in my whole body and could no longer stay where I was. That scream—as painful as it was—taught me everything I needed to know about alignment.

I had abandoned myself to stay in something that didn't honor who I was. And my body, my intuition, my deepest self refused to let me keep doing it.

What Alignment With Yourself Actually Is

Alignment with self is living in harmony with your core values, beliefs, and authentic truth—where your thoughts, words, and actions reflect each other. It's making choices that energize you instead of drain you. It's self-acceptance, integrity, and peace.

But more than that, it's learning to trust the whispers before they have to scream.

It's that quiet sense that your inner world and outer choices are finally in sync. You speak honestly. You act from truth. You trust your own timing. You're no longer abandoning yourself to be loved or understood.

Roger's Journey: When One Part Works While Others Suffocate

Roger: Being out of alignment for me meant making one part of my life work really well while shutting down other parts of myself that needed to be tended to. In my marriage, I became the husband and father I thought I should be, but I tucked away my music, my writing, my spiritual gifts—all the parts of me that felt too unconventional, too much.

I didn't realize that by doing this I was slowly suffocating the essence of who I was. The relationship worked on paper, but I wasn't whole within it. And eventually, that misalignment became impossible to ignore.

After my divorce, the work wasn't about finding someone new—it was about coming back into alignment with all of myself. Reclaiming the parts I'd hidden. Learning that I didn't need to shrink to be worthy of love.

Recognizing Alignment Before Love Arrives

Kim: Before meeting Roger, I knew I had come back into alignment with myself. And I knew it because of what that loud scream had taught me.

When I was approached to date again, I took my time. I paid attention to the way communications made me feel. I listened to my body when it said, "This feels too rushed for me," or "They just want a person, a body—not me. And I want something much more than that."

My discernment was turned on. I would no longer put myself in a place that didn't feel right, no matter what anyone else thought. I trusted myself again.

Then came Roger.

Roger: I recognized that I was in alignment with myself when everything seemed to come to me at the pace I desired, without rushing. For five months, Kim and I wrote letters to each other. I slowly revealed all the hidden aspects of myself—the music, the spirituality, the depth—before we ever met. And during this very special time, I began to realize that all I was wasn't just okay, but celebrated, encouraged, and happily anticipated.

There was no conversation off the table, no matter how esoteric. I didn't have to hide anything. That's how I knew I'd found my alignment—and that Kim had found hers too.

What Aligned Love Feels Like

When two people are aligned with themselves first, something remarkable happens when they meet.

Roger: Alignment isn't about finding perfection—it's about resonance. When two people are aligned, their connection feels effortless. Communication flows, understanding deepens, and together there's an expansion—not because one completes the other, but because each becomes more of who they already are, and they are celebrated for that.

Kim: When you're aligned internally, the love that meets you externally reflects that same frequency. You're not overextending to be seen or accepted—you're already there. And that grounded energy is what naturally attracts connection that feels safe, mutual, and real.

That's when partnership becomes expansion—not effort.

The Path Back to Alignment

If you've been ignoring the whispers, you're not alone. Most of us have learned to silence our inner knowing in favor of what we think we should do, what others expect, or what feels safe or familiar.

But your body knows. Your intuition knows. And the more you practice listening when the voice is still soft, the less it will ever need to scream.

Coming back into alignment with yourself might mean:

• Noticing when something feels "off" and honoring that feeling instead of explaining it away

• Paying attention to what energizes you versus what drains you

• Trusting your timeline instead of rushing to meet external expectations

• Speaking your truth even when it's uncomfortable

• Making choices that reflect your values, not someone else's vision for your life

• Allowing yourself to want what you want in love—without apologizing for it

  
  

From this place of inner alignment, love stops feeling like something to earn or chase. You're no longer performing to be accepted. You're simply there—grounded, clear, and whole.

And that energy? That's what naturally calls in the kind of love that matches who you truly are.

The more we come into alignment with who we truly are, the more love shows up to meet us there. Whether you're just beginning again or deep in your own healing, know that love is never lost—it's simply waiting for you to remember yourself.

And this time? Listen to the whispers.

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With love and unwavering belief in your journey, 

Kim & Roger

Kim and Roger are Manifestationship® coaches who help adult singles manifest authentic, fulfilling relationships through conscious awareness and intentional inner transformation. Through their unique approach as both a man and woman team, they guide clients in becoming magnetic to the love that is possible for them.